Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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