It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
