Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He passed out mid-signature
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
