I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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