love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
