Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
