You really coming over, don't trick.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
