and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
