I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
