Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
