i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
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I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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