why didn't you poke me back
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
