just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
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