What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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