If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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