considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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