Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize