She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize