Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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