we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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