Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
