I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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