shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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