Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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