i wish my penis had a tongue
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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