I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You don't make any sense
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