I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I need to align my fucking chakras
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
