At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
A+ Viking dick
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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