The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
