hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.