His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated