WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.