He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Someone signed my nipple.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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