a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You dont lie about slip and slides
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
