I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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