hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's official drugs can't kill me
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
