im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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