we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
