"it" just moved
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Randomize