Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He shit in the fireplace
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
