The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
