i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
