I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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