Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
