I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
