Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
