Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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