im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
