i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
