walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
