I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
