Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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