i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
