Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
