I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
