Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
