she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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