He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
